Thirty Five Shades of Brown

Spoiler Alert: This is not an erotic romance story with explicit scenes featuring bondage and dominance.

Mid-May 2012

“Julie, where have you been getting your evening sun in this weather” asked my colleague Brian as day three of steady rain could be heard pelting the office windows that were nowhere near either of our cubes. I turned away from my computer to face him and asked “Do I look like I am getting a tan”? And he said, “Yes, every day this week you have come into the office a shade darker than the last, and I want to know your secret”. 

A few days earlier... 

While volunteering at a triathlon, I spent a couple of hours outside in the early morning sun wearing long pants and a tank top. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me the next day when I woke up with what appeared to be an even tan all over my body.

A Brief History of My Relationship with the Sun

After a day spent in the sun I usually look like a streaky lobster.  The streaks come from my inability to evenly apply sunscreen; my ability to burn was inherited from my dad. An evenly bronzed tan has never been a part of my repertoire. 

I immediately panicked after the conversation I had with Brian and called my doctor thinking that my liver was failing. I don’t want you to think that I jumped to the “oh my God my liver is failing, I must be jaundiced” conclusion lightly. My relationship with the sun detailed above, coupled with the fact I was on seven antibiotics, and scores of supplements, made me fear the worst when my skin color started to change. Lucky for me I had just been to the lab to get blood drawn and my doctor was able to assure me right away that my liver and kidney functions were fine. It turned out that I was having a reaction to Minocycline; one of the antibiotics I was on. My doctor told me to discontinue taking it, and that my reaction which was triggered by a couple of hours of sun exposure wouldn’t be permanent. 

Every morning, throughout the summer, I woke up a different shade of brown, regardless of whether I was spending time in the sun or not. Even fifteen minutes outdoors during lunch made me noticeably darker. How dark did I get? The men who congregate on the street corner by my house started yelling dirty things to me in Spanish instead of English when I walked by. I relish all opportunities to practice the small amount of Spanish I remember from high school. 

One late afternoon after lounging poolside for most of the day, I met up with my friend Megan who told me I had a purplish hue to my skin tone. I laughed at her and told her she was seeing things. An hour later another person who had not heard our conversation mentioned the same thing to me. As July rolled around and the weather in DC got too hot for my liking, I chose to stay indoors to avoid the sweltering heat and to avoid turning purple. I slowly began to fade. Slowly being the operative word; at some point in October I returned to my usual pale white color. 

I avoided the camera for most of the summer, but lucky for you guys this awesome picture was captured of me in late August, a month and a half after I had stopped hanging out in the sun. You’re probably wondering how somebody who doesn’t own a cat could find themselves in a situation where they would be dressed like this changing kitty litter. Don’t worry about that, it has nothing to do with the story. The point of this picture is to show you how tan I was.

One other interesting thing happened when I stopped taking the Minocycline. A myriad of symptoms that had subsided during the first seven months of treatment popped back up. Turns out it was one of the most effective antibiotics I was taking. My doctor allowed me to start taking a smaller dosage of the Minocycline again this past October after a five month break. Last weekend I had the chance to soak up some sun while sitting poolside in Vegas. No sunburn for me, and I swear I may be a little tanner today than I was yesterday...