Whether it is for a long weekend or a two week vacation packing my suitcase is never easy and I'm usually left with many questions running through my head. Did I bring too much clothing? Did I bring enough clothing? Did I bring too many shoe choices? If I leave that one pair of shoes at home because they take up a lot of room in my suitcase will I be annoyed if I can't wear them with that one outfit that I packed that I may or may not wear? If I buy anything during my trip will my suitcase even zip up when it is time to return home? March 2013: While packing for Vegas my main concern was trying to figure out the best way to bring 4 days worth of my antibiotics and supplements with me in my carry on along with Lyme disease friendly snacks and breakfast food that I had pre-prepared. It really was a miracle that I left DC with clothing in my suitcase at all; Lyme disease really has changed everything. One of the most popular questions I was asked by people after mentioning that I was going to Vegas was: Are you going to have trouble making it through security will all of your pills at the airport? I am glad to report that I didn’t have any issue boarding the plane with my traveling pharmacy.
What are you going to eat in Vegas with all of your diet restrictions? What is Peepshow? Are you even going to have fun in Vegas if you can’t drink? These were the other popular questions I was peppered with upon announcing my plans to travel with a couple of friends to Vegas. While we didn’t kidnap Mike Tyson’s tiger we did manage to have a blast.
“Do you know if the hotel is pager friendly?” I asked to Marisa and Rachael as we walked into Caesars Palace. They both turned around with looks of confusion on their faces. Marisa replied “I didn’t know people still used pagers” at the same time as Rachael said “I didn’t know you had a pager”. That is when I realized that I was in Las Vegas with two people who had never seen the movie “The Hangover”. And then just for the hell of it I asked “This isn’t the real Caesars Palace, is it”?
Paris Las Vegas vs. Paris France
The next best thing to traveling to Paris, France is to travel to Paris, Las Vegas. What’s not to love? Paris is known as the city of light. Vegas has a lot of lights. Paris has the famous Eiffel Tower that everyone loves to go to the top of to get a view of the city. So does Vegas. Arc de Triomphe... yep, you guessed it, Vegas has one too. Paris is a fashion hub. No need to look any further than the casino in Paris Las Vegas to see the high fashion that are the cocktail waitresses walking around with everything hanging out; no matter their age. There is a red light district in Paris. I believe all of Las Vegas is a red light district. Do you like Crepes? Every step you take within the Paris casino, you are guaranteed to run into a crepe. There are beautiful fountains in Paris. Directly across the street from the casino in Vegas is the beautiful dancing fountain at the Bellagio. I don't believe the fountains in France have water shows every hour set to music. I could go on and on with the comparisons; suffice it to say Paris Las Vegas was an excellent place to stay and I would recommend it to anyone planning a trip to Las Vegas in the future.
Tacos El Gordo
The morning after we landed in Vegas my swollen elbow (mentioned in my last post) was even more swollen and had become bruised over night. While this did concern me, I wasn't about to let it stop me from enjoying tacos for lunch. A co-worker of mine suggested that we go to Tacos El Gordo while we were in Vegas. She is well aware of my dietary restrictions but I was so enthusiastic while telling her about my plans to take a mini vacation from my food restrictions while traveling, she thought it necessary to send me to this awesome hole in the wall taco joint in a strip mall on Las Vegas Blvd. It was pouring down rain and we were wet when we ran into the restaurant. Actually, Marisa and Rachael ran. I sauntered into the restaurant behind them because running is not an option with all of my current joint and muscular issues. The pork spinning around on a vertical rotisserie immediately caught my eye and I ordered pork tacos; they were amazing. I guess now would be a good time to mention that back in September of 2012 I decided to eliminate all animal protein from my diet. After two months of being a processed sugar, night shade vegetable and gluten free vegan I decided that every once in awhile I was going to eat fish and eggs. It makes perfect sense that I ordered pork tacos, right? Before I continue on I just want to make one thing clear: Tacos El Gordo makes some bad-ass tacos. If you find yourself on Las Vegas Blvd wanting tacos, I suggest you go there. You will not be disappointed.Wynn Las Vegas and Encore Resort
Luxurious. Beautiful chandeliers. Tiles so clean you could see your reflection in them. Gigantic reclining chairs. Bright lights. Flowers as far as the eye could see. Welcome to the bathroom of the Encore Casino. Talk about a spacious bathroom stall, I think it was bigger than our hotel room.
After we finished our tacos the rain had stopped, but it was a gray and windy day. We decided some touring of the casinos was in order. A mere twenty minutes into the tour I had to make a break for the bathroom. Adios pork tacos! The tour resumed and ten minutes later I found myself in another bathroom at the Wynn. Let me tell you, Steve Wynn likes the fancy bathrooms. In both of his casinos the bathrooms were so spotless, I didn't even feel the need to hover over the toilets while using them; total opposite of all of my New Jersey Turnpike pit stop experiences.
Outside of the bathrooms, Wynn and Encore are two incredibly beautiful and spotless casinos. The decor, the flowers, and the atmosphere are like no other casino you will find on or off the strip in Las Vegas. We found out, while talking to an employee of a bar at Encore, that all of the flower arrangements throughout both casinos are real and are constantly being replaced when they start to show signs of wilting. There is no smoking allowed in either establishment which is a welcome change from breathing in the stale air from the other casinos along the strip.
PEEPSHOW
As fans of "Ice Loves Coco", a reality show that follows around Ice T and his wife Coco, we decided a trip to Vegas was in order when we found out that Coco would be starring for a limited amount of time in "Peepshow" at the Planet Hollywood Showroom. During Las Vegas' only striptease spectacular nursery rhymes get a naughty twist. The show features sexy strip tease and over-the-top production elements, making it one sultry spectacular you won't want to miss - with a review like that you can't help but wonder what exactly you are going to see when the curtain goes up. The show turned out to be very entertaining. The cast was great. They sang, they danced and they shook what their mommas gave them (even the men). Audience participation was relied upon for some good laughs during the show and the wide range of people in the Planet Hollywood Showroom made for some fun reactions to watch throughout the show. Coco was fantastic and she looked like she was thoroughly enjoying every moment that she was on stage. No, her breasts are not real. And yes, she is really topless during the show. And yes, her booty really looks as curvy as it does in all of her pictures. I think that covers all of the questions I received about Coco and her assets upon returning home. While researching the show I had come across information regarding meet and greets with Coco. For an extra fee we found ourselves waiting in line after the show with champagne in hand (my lucky friends got to drink mine) waiting to meet her. And meet her we did. Along with Ice T who happened to be in town for the weekend and their dogs Spartacus and Maximus. Coco had individual conversations with everyone who was waiting to meet her. She hugged us, complimented all three of us on our outfits, posed for pictures and signed some photos. She couldn't have been any nicer if she had tried. Ice T was also very friendly and got roped into the photos as well.
After rubbing elbows with Ice and Coco we decided to hit the club in Planet Hollywood, and that is where we met the guy pictured on the right. Wow. What a way to end the night. Or should I say start the morning? No, your eyes are not deceiving you. His t-shirt says "Orgasm Donor". He was out with a handful of friends for his bachelor party. His underwear said "I love to Fart". I know this because he was wearing them over his pants. He also had a chicken drinking a beer perched on his head. One of his friends kept telling us how patient his fiance was. Mechanical Bulls
Late one night we were walking along the pedestrian bridge that runs between the Excalibur Hotel and the New York-New York Hotel and Casino when we were stopped by a man with an interesting proposition. One minute we were looking at the Statue of Liberty and the next minute this guy was trying to lure us into a limo which he claimed was going to take us to Larry Flynt's house where we would be able to watch a very raunchy male review which involved nudity and we would also get the chance to ride a mechanical bull shaped like a penis. This amazing night at Larry Flynt's house did not appeal to any of us, so we declined. But for a good hour afterwards all I could keep thinking to myself was "Why didn't he just say a mechanical penis. Why waste words saying a mechanical bull shaped like a penis"?
One night while sitting inside the Professional Bull Riding (PBR) bar we learned about the phenomena known as bare-ass bull riding. No I didn't mean to say bareback riding, I meant bare-ass. During the two hours we were sitting at the bar many drunk ladies hoisted themselves up on the bull in their short skirts/dresses while wearing thongs and attempted to break the mechanical bull riding record at the bar. Occasionally we would turn around to witness the madness because the drunk people sitting next to us were loudly commenting on the outfits (or lack thereof) and also rating the looks of everyone who got on the bull. One lady in a short white dress hopped on and as the bull started to thrash about I looked over at Rachael and said "Uh... did I just see what I thought I just saw"? and before Rachael could answer me the lady next to me said "O.M.G.... I just saw that girls shaved cooter". There you have it folks! One girl did dare to bare it all on the mechanical bull at the PBR Bar.
Gambling
I like my money in my wallet until I decide to spend it. That being said, one cannot help but partake in gambling while in Vegas. I set aside $20 for gambling. HIGH ROLLER. Before we left for our trip our friend Rob told us that we had to play red 23 on the roulette table. One night as Rachael was throwing some chips down at the roulette table I said "Don't forget red 23". She threw down one more chip, and Red 23 was the winner. An easy $100 was won, and Rob got a whole bunch of messages at an ungodly hour in the morning telling him about how powerful his psychic abilities at the roulette table were. The next day I won $100 playing black 13, and I immediately purchased a new pair of shoes. Success at the roulette table should always be rewarded!In Summary
The next time you head to Vegas I suggest staying at Paris Las Vegas. You cannot beat the location and it truly is a beautiful hotel. If you are looking for amazing tacos while touring around town, go to Tacos El Gordo. Wynn and Encore are must see casinos. Check them out, and be sure to spend some quality time in the bathrooms. Go see Peepshow. Coco is performing through Sept 1, 2013. It is an entertaining show, Coco rocks and you should take advantage of the meet and greet after the show. Be sure to spend any money that you win gambling immediately so you won't have an opportunity to lose it while trying to win more money. Last but not least please wear long pants while riding the mechanical bulls around town; while they don't look really mean, they are definitely not clean.
