The Advantages of Short Term Memory Loss

There are none. 

Why did I lead you to believe that I was going to discuss the advantages of short term memory loss? 

I can’t remember.

It was mid-September when I was dismissed by the primary care physician and mid-November by the time I was able to schedule an available appointment with a tick-borne disease specialist who was recommended by a friend of mine. Prior to my appointment I was asked to fill out information about my medical history and collect the lab results from the doctor I had seen in September along with any other medical records from the past five years so it could all be reviewed and discussed internally before my appointment. 

I continued to go to work as I experienced day-to-day fluctuations of my symptoms. On some days I felt "okay". My definition of okay at this point in time meant I was used to not having feeling in my hands and feet, my legs hurt but not to the point where it was affecting my ability to walk, my joints were stiff but not too achy, my vision was blurry but I could still read my computer screen without getting a headache and I was still smiling and nodding my head even though I wasn't exactly sure what was going on all the time when people were talking to me. On the flip side some days I was having trouble walking and sitting down/standing up, I would get really bad headaches while looking at my computer screen because my vision would get worse as the day wore on, and sometimes I would get really irritable and angry (which is very out of character for me) and is known as "Lyme Rage". Either way you look at it, it was pretty miserable and exhausting. 

The day finally arrived for my appointment and I was there for 3.5 hours. We had a lot to discuss. I spoke with two attentive physicians who listened to every word I said and sympathized with my frustration. I asked them as many questions as they asked me. The most memorable part of our discussion came at the end of my appointment just before I was sent me to the lab to get blood work done. As one of the physicians held up a page from my file that I had sent prior to my appointment he said, "We're not going to wait for the results of this blood work we are about to do before we start treating you since you tested positive for Lyme disease in November of 2009". 

 

A Clean Bill of Health

Have you heard the one about the girl who limps into a doctor’s office, tells the doctor she had Lyme disease in 1994  and is certain she has it again, and then launches into her list of symptoms that include loss of feeling in her hands and feet , a fiery sensation in her legs, frequent short term memory lapses and bursts of irritability, trouble using her hands for normal every day things like opening doors, joint and muscular pain that is so bad that she compares herself to the Tin Man before he got oiled, and then a few days later receives a letter in the mail telling her all of her blood work was negative and she is in good health? 

Well, you just did. 

By early Sept 2011 I had diagnosed myself with Lyme disease. This wasn't one of those self diagnoses performed after happy hour with the help of Web MD. This was based on my first experience with Lyme disease in high school which will be discussed at a later date. For now, let’s take a look at what led me to the doctor’s office.

2011: Hindsight is always 20/20 Timeline:  

March: While most people were excited about their March Madness brackets, I woke up feeling feverish one morning and for the next week tried to identify the source of a traveling rash that would materialize for hours at a time on my face or neck in the form of really itchy hives or really tiny reddish bumps that produced a lot of heat and would then conveniently disappear when I would go to the doctor. This vanishing act made it hard to diagnose as anything other than an allergic reaction to some new lotion or shampoo I was using (although I swore up and down I was not using any new products). 

April-May: Felt sore and tired but I was training for a half Ironman triathlon so soreness in my back and knees after a bike ride or a run was not alarming. My right leg was bothering me and I went to the doctor and was told my Sartorius muscle was irritated. I just added it to the list of my aches and pains and diligently did leg, back and core strengthening exercises and stretching as directed.

Early June: Completed the 1/2 Ironman in Cambridge, MD and was incredibly sore after the race. Of course I was. Who doesn’t get sore after a big race?  [Side Note: From June 5th - August 28th I was sleeping on an air mattress at a friend’s condo. My lease had run out and I was in the process of looking for a place to buy while my furniture was in storage. The air mattress was a good culprit to blame my increasing back pain on]. 

Early July: Traveled to Croatia for a swim trek. A group of us swam 28K around the islands in the Adriatic Sea over a period of six days. Early on I noticed that I was having trouble pushing off the boat with my right leg when diving into the water. By the time day six of swimming was upon me, my shoulders and neck hurt so bad I could barely lift my arms out of the water while swimming. I chalked it up to the fact I had been a little lax in my preparation for the swim trek. Swimming once or zero times a week for the few months leading up to the trek was not a good training plan. Once again, my discomfort was easily accounted for.

Mid-July: Completed an Olympic distance triathlon in Richmond a couple of days after I returned from Croatia. All things considered I had a good race in some extremely hot weather conditions, a few days after the race I was still limping around with a sore leg.

Early-Mid August: My shoulders and neck were constantly bothering me even though I hadn’t swum since the triathlon in July and my back wasn’t getting any better, or worse. One morning while out for a run I felt this burning sensation in my feet, and as the days went on, it spread into my legs. My feet and my legs felt like they were on fire. The pain would come and go. Sometimes I could walk fine and other times I was barely able to place my foot flat on the floor. Once again, I blamed it on my back (it seemed reasonable). Went back to the doctor and worked on my sciatic nerve which was all inflamed.

Late August: I lost feeling in my feet and my hands. I was officially concerned.  Around this time I also started having trouble performing simple tasks like pulling my ATM card out of a pay-to-park machine. It wasn't that my card was stuck; it was that my fingers could not grip the card and pull on it to remove it from the machine. Friends and colleagues, who had jokingly been telling me that I had been flakier than normal, were starting to get seriously concerned with my inability to focus and remember things from earlier in the day. On a few occasions I also forgot I was the one talking and would just stare blankly at whomever I had been talking to waiting for them to finish the conversation. Around this time I also started getting annoyed and irritated about stuff that normally wouldn't make me think twice. I made an appointment to get a physical in mid-September.

September: I started seeing blurry halos around objects that were lit up; computer screen, cell phone, light fixtures, etc. This is when I knew I had Lyme disease again. This halo effect had been one of my symptoms the first time around.  As I waited for my doctor’s appointment to arrive, I participated in the Nations triathlon on September 11^th in Washington DC. I figured if I didn’t feel well, I could quit, walk home and take a nap. The second race I did was the Ragnar Relay, which took place after I was given a clean bill of health by the doctor. This race is also coincidentally the last time I was able to run. My body gave me the middle finger after I completed the race, and still hasn't retracted it. 

--

I realize that this timeline makes me look like the “masochistic nut” that many of my friends have lovingly referred to me as over the years. I guess they were right!

After receiving my clean bill of health in the mail I left a voicemail for the doctor reiterating a few points I had made during my initial visit, the most important one being that I did not test positive for Lyme disease the first time I had it. I also mentioned my vision was being affected in the same way and I wanted to discuss the situation further. I received a call back from the receptionist the next day who gave me the phone number of an ophthalmologist who could help me with my vision issue. I didn’t even write the number down.

There's no Such Thing as a Stupid Question

“Hey, I have a quick question."
“What’s up Jules”?
“I am making this fish dish, and the recipe says to broil it. How does one broil a piece of fish”?

She paused before she slowly spoke into the phone, as if she were waiting for me to start laughing and tell her I was kidding.

“Uh… well, you, uh… press the broil button that should be near the oven clock.”

“Oh. I see it. Imagine that! Thanks."

And just like that, at the age of 34, I broiled my first piece of fish.

I've always had the cleanest kitchen out of all of my friends, simply because I never used it. I lost that bragging right last year after I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease. The past fifteen months have been very tough physically and mentally. In addition to feeling lousy and taking copious amounts of antibiotics daily, I've been attempting to adjust to lifestyle changes and food restrictions that I was strongly urged to follow as part of my treatment. 

Since 2001, when not at work, I've been balancing training for triathlons/marathons, socializing all over Washington DC and going on adventure vacations that many would not consider a vacation. These activities have been put on hold and I anxiously wait for the day they can resume. In the meantime I am extremely lucky to have wonderfully supportive family, friends and colleagues, who have been there every step of the way with me. It’s been a long journey for all of us; sadly there is no expiration date on a chronic disease so they need to remain on call. Finding humor in my health issues and my cooking mishaps has been a good way to remain laughing and mostly positive while adjusting to everything.

Don’t know much about Lyme disease? You can Google it. Or you can just follow my blog which will be a lot less scientific and more fun to read.