Flash forward (but still a flashback): This past September 11th, while I was discussing the test results that I detailed in my last post with my doctor, I let out a laugh when he started reading the list of foods that I had allergies to and said "What? That is ridiculous. I eat some of those frequently and without issue. I'm not allergic to them." On Friday September 12th as I sat in my office eating almonds, my usual mid-morning snack, I felt a little foolish as my nose and my feet began to itch. List of food allergies: Almond, Banana, Basil, Pinto Bean, Cashew, Clam, Cocoa, Ginger, Gluten, Lettuce, Malt, Cows Milk, Mushroom, Mustard, Nutrasweet, Orange, Peanut, Black Pepper, Black Walnut, Wheat, Bakers Yeast, Brewers Yeast and Yogurt.
Pictured above is my work "kitchen". I know. I know. Before you point your finger at me and tell me that I am THAT health-food nut who has a blender in her office, I would just like to say it is temporary. How temporary? I don't know. I guess it could turn into one of those long-term temporary situations. You've heard of those, right? Stop making fun of me.
Okay, let's start again. Hey, why do you have a blender in your office? I think it is weird but I don't want to jump to any conclusions. Due to my new treatment protocol that I am following I am supposed to consume three protein shakes a day since I am protein deficient due to the maldigestion. Oh wow, that is a lot of protein shakes. Yes it is, and most of the time I only have two. What other changes have you made? Thanks for asking. Here is some more information about the protocol that has imposed an insane amount of structure and planning upon my every day life. Quite frankly I don't care for it:
Supplements: My kitchen counter looks like a bigger pharmacy than it did a few months ago. There are supplements and digestive enzymes that I take 2-3 times per day either an hour before I eat, right before I eat, with meals, after I eat or between meals. I am constantly packing supplements in plastic containers to take everywhere with me in my purse.
Powders: As if the protein shakes weren't enough, I also have to mix Glutamine powder in water and drink it an hour before I eat, three times a day. Supplements are not the only things packed in plastic containers in my purse. This doesn't look suspicious at all, does it? Medication: A half an hour before breakfast and lunch, I have to take my thyroid medications, and three times a day, I have to dissolve some rather nasty tasting lozenges in my mouth that I can't eat or drink 15 minutes before or after taking.
I recently got the green light from my doctor to discontinue my antibiotics, and am working on phasing those out! The ones I am still taking all need to be consumed after meals. Since cutting back on my antibiotics I've had a couple of symptom flare ups. My shoulder blades have been feeling rusty, my knees have been very sore and stiff, sometimes I can't make a fist or hold on to anything with my left hand due to thumb joint pain that comes and goes and I experienced a minor occurrence of vertigo a few weeks ago, but it is no longer an issue.
Herbal Supplements: A half an hour before I eat in both the morning and evening I take herbal supplements known as microbials. There are six different herbal supplements I am rotating between, and they target the different tick borne illnesses that I am being treated for. I take two at a time for two month intervals, adding a new one and discontinuing one every two months. The microbials are ingested in 4 ounces of water, and as long as I am tolerating them, I increase the amount daily by a drop each.
Food: I would be remiss if I left out the additional food restrictions I now have. You are probably wondering how a girl who is red meat, gluten, dairy, processed sugar, alcohol and caffeine free could have additional restrictions. I often wonder that myself. For the most part, I am having minor allergic reactions to the food I listed earlier, some of which is food I was eating daily leading up to this point. Due to the leaky gut issue I talked about last time, [WARNING: ABOUT TO GET REALLY TECHNICAL HERE] stuff is getting into places it shouldn't be getting in to and is causing these random reactions. After eliminating the foods mentioned above for awhile, I should be able to reintroduce them back to my diet. There is one more major food related thing I must mention. Due to my fungal issues, I have gone almost completely sugar free. The only thing I eat now with any sort of sugar in it are granny smith apples. Eventually down the road I will be able to eat fruit, dates, honey, etc again, but for now since fungus feeds on sugar, I cannot. I've had to get even more creative in the kitchen, but rest assured I am not starving.
In my quest to kick Lyme disease to the curb I continue to make time consuming lifestyle changes and I often get the "I don't know how you do it" response from my friends and family while discussing new developments. I don't know how I do it either. I am focused on my recovery and I find a way to do what I need to do, but that doesn't mean that all of this is not absolutely exhausting and frustrating. I struggle from time to time with what seems to be an expanding mountain of stuff that I need to climb to the top of, without any idea of whether the end is in sight. Sometimes I feel like a rusty car sitting in a field of overgrown grass, and other times I feel pretty good, all things considered. Time for another flashback: In May I wrote about my experiences with reiki and at that point in time I had nothing but relaxing and positive things to share. This past August I had an unforgettable experience that occurred while I was between doctors. I had a bad headache and was feeling very frustrated and uncomfortable when I arrived for my reiki session. It didn't take long before I was sobbing uncontrollably while laying on the table with my eyes closed. The sobbing went on for quite some time. By the end of my treatment I was feeling drained and exhausted and tears were no longer pouring out of my puffy red eyes.
An emotional release is a healing reaction which may occur during reiki sessions. It can present itself in a variety of ways, and it appears to relate to pent-up emotion of the negative kind. These emotions may need to flow to the surface in order to be released for full healing to take place. As the reiki master was explaining to me what an emotional release was, I asked, "are emotional releases supposed to make you feel like you are going to throw up"? As I was driving home a wave of nausea hit me and I contemplated pulling my car over to the side of the road but it passed and I drove on. Around the time I parked my car another wave of nausea came over me and this time I knew it was not going to pass. I concentrated really hard on not throwing up in the street as I hurried towards my building. The minute I hit my driveway I threw up in the bushes. I wish I could say it was a stealth operation. Many thanks to my friend Alexis for making me tea and dinner and for talking through my experience with me after she found me looking pale and slumped up against the side of my building making sure I had nothing left to give to the bushes. This experience did not deter me from continuing my reiki practice, and to date I have not had any more emotional releases.
I feel like I should end this on a non-vomity high note. The other day while I was trying to relax I was feeling very disinterested with being at home and resting and it took me a minute to figure out what was going on. I was bored. I wasn't even tired. I wanted to be outside doing something and I had already had a weekend jam-packed with activity.This particular emotional state is not one that I have registered since my Lyme experience began. I was so excited I almost skipped around my place with my hands above my head yelling "I'm bored", but I didn't (mostly because my shoulder blades felt like they were rusty and my knees and hips were really sore), instead I sat on my couch plotting my return to swimming in 2015. I still have too much discomfort in various body parts to start right now, but I have early spring slated as my goal for getting back in the pool. Watch out boredom, I'm coming to get you.
