Quitting My Pack-A-Day Habit

Once upon a time in a life that now seems far, far away, I would tear into a king size package of peanut M&M’s and enjoy the sugary goodness on a daily basis. I loved eating peanut M&M’s. I am not ashamed to admit that people often bribed me with M&M's as I was always willing to eat them and do whatever they were suggesting; whether it was ethical or not.

What? Were you expecting me to address the positive Lyme test from 2009 that I found out about in 2011 after I had just tested negative for Lyme disease and was told I was healthy? Are you feeling a bit anxious thinking about all the times you have gone to the doctor for blood work and was told "no news is good news"? Are you wondering how peanut M&M's fit into this equation? The equation is complicated. There are a lot of moving parts. I don't know about you guys, but math was never my strong point. It always left me in a state of confusion.

Confusion. Johnny Depp once said "I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face". What does Johnny Depp have to do with Lyme disease? As far as I know, nothing. Confused? Good! This is what it's like to be a Lyme disease patient.

Upon returning to the doctor in December to review my blood work and adjust my medication a diet bombshell was dropped on me. Diet is a part of the complicated equation mentioned above and is sometimes completely overlooked during treatment. My doctor strongly recommended cutting out food and drink that cause inflammatory response when consumed since Lyme disease is inflammatory and certain foods add more fuel to the fire. I was told to stay away from red meat, dairy/butter, processed sugar, refined carbohydrates, coffee and alcohol.  Here is a snippet of my inner monologue as this list was being recited to me:

Oh gosh. I love hamburgers. My mom always told me I was going to turn into one because I ate so many. Oh geez dairy? Ice cream... What am I going to do over the summer when I can't eat ice cream every day? Burritos! Who the heck wants to eat a burrito without cheese? Oh maaaan... processed sugar. I love M&M's and Pepsi and cookies and cakes,and oh my... is bread a refined carbohydrate? Oh well, good thing I never drank coffee, I won't miss that. Goodbye whiskey. I hope we meet again soon. You are the nectar of the Gods. 

After I left the doctor I had a lot of information to process. The diet was only a small portion of what we had discussed but has since turned in to something much bigger. It wasn't until I was half way home that it dawned on me that I was going to have to start cooking, and I was going to need help because on average I spent zero percent of my time in the kitchen cooking. I was known for my nearly empty fridge that always had condiments and nail polish in it and my amazing ability to microwave frozen pizza. (Just in case you are wondering, I like to keep my nail polish in the fridge so it doesn't get sticky in the heat). After an extensive cooking related Internet search, I came across "Recipes for Repair - A Lyme Disease Cookbook" by Gail Piazza and Laura Piazza. As I waited for the cookbook to arrive in the mail I convinced my local friends to participate in a multi-day "farewell to inflammatory food tour", which took us through all four quadrants of Washington, DC and into parts of Virginia. It was a glorious affair and in hindsight a very dumb thing for me to do. Why do I say that? I will explain in great detail next time. For now, I would like to end where I began.

I have yet to replace the void that eliminating peanut M&M’s from my diet has left in my stomach. Like every great love affair that comes to an end, it is much better to move on then to dwell on what could have been. I am not going to lie, from time-to-time I think about peanut M&M's. Have I been peanut M&M free since December of 2011? Almost, but not quite. Sometimes when you feel like something is still missing in your life you may get the urge to pick up the phone and dial that ex-great love affair, only to immediately regret it because they aren't as great as you remember. Same thing applies to the peanut M&M's.